I love that very brief moment when something happens, and I don’t feel anything as I haven’t decided what to think about it yet.

It’s like stopping at a crossroads of thoughts and having a chance to choose a path consciously.

Normally, the choice is between “That’s what I’m used to thinking in these situations” and “Let’s think something different”.

The habitual thinking path seems like a highway – easy to take, obvious, and automatic.

The alternative way of thinking resembles a narrow path through the bushes – requiring more effort, and deliberate choice.

It doesn’t happen all the time, but I find it exciting when I catch myself there or backtracking if I haven’t gone down the habitual thinking path too far.

Because it reminds me that I have a choice of what to make it mean.

When something happens, somebody says words or does something, you could make it mean that something has gone wrong, that this is bad.

Or something bad about yourself, or the other person. Or not.

What you choose to think about it, will determine how you feel.

How you feel, will determine what actions you take or don’t take.

And those actions will create a certain result.

Simple. And amazing at the same time.

For example, someone didn’t do something you asked.

You can think that person doesn’t care about you.

You’re likely to feel upset, act cold, disconnect rather than connect, spin in negative thoughts about that person, your relationship, and yourself, and create even more distance.

Alternatively, you could think “Just because that person didn’t do ABC, it doesn’t mean XYZ. I wonder why s/he didn’t do it.”

You might feel openness and curiosity.

Then you’re likely to connect rather than disconnect and have a conversation instead of a silent treatment or argument. You might actually find out what was happening to that person.

Just because you always thought that way or someone else says you should think that way – you don’t have to.

Thoughts are optional.

☑️ When something outside your control happens – pause for a moment. Decide, what you want to make it mean. Is there another way to think about it that you might like more for your desired result?